Today was not a great day. I woke up feeling extremely dizzy. I couldn’t even get out of bed. I just felt like my head was so heavy and I didn’t have the feeling to do anything. I eventually got out of bed and started to get ready for school. I had finished getting dressed but before leaving my room for breakfast I felt dizzy once again. I don’t know why I felt this way but I just couldn’t go to school this way. To tell you the truth I’m actually feeling a bit homesick. I started to randomly cry today. I was listening to music when all of a sudden tears were flowing down my face. Hehe…I’m actually crying right now thinking of it again. I don’t like to admit that I’m homesick because it makes me seem weak. Being on exchange you are told by some that you are brave and that you are going to have fun and that it’s like a ‘vacation’. It’s not. Yeah, I’m having fun and I’m enjoying every day but every once in a while it’s not all that way. At points a realize how far I really am from my family and friends. I realize that just listening to mother speak is something that I can miss so much. I realize that being welcomed home is somthing great and shouldn’t be taken for granted. I realize that just seeing your friends smile is something wonderful in life. I realize how far I am from all of this. I don’t want to cry. I feel weak. You’re probably wondering why am I saying I don’t want to say anything and yet I’m complaining. I don’t know. If people say going abroad is like a vacation, it’s not. I feel sad and lonely at points. I am far from home. I have all these emotions but I don’t want to let them out. I don’t want to let them out because I’m told to smile and enjoy it and that I should be grateful and unselfish. Crying would only make it seem like I want the attention. I just… I don’t know. I’m typing whatever words are coming into mind. I don’t know how this will end. This post seems like a sad one. I don’t actually know. I am just typing. I’m currently crying. I do miss my family a lot. It can be very difficult. I promise to stay strong though! Please don’t worry. I’m a big crybaby so I literally cry about the smallest things. Anyways, it’s time for me to sleep. I have to go back to school tomorrow. I need a smile on my face and look happy. Thank you. おやすみ⭐ (goodnight)
1 Comment
Amiga
11/9/2017 17:32:35
Elizabeth!!!! It's okay to feel homesick and cry. It's very understandable to feel this way. I have felt like this before, and yet I still have those days where I randomly get this feeling and I want to cry. Just know that your not alone, and you have friends from ALLLLLLLLLLL over the world. You know you can call/text me whenever. Your a strong girl! Don't feel bad for feeling like this. alright? I love youuuuuu, hugs from the other side of the world jaja <3
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January 2018
AuthorI am a student from the US to Japan. I enjoy writing, photographing, & travelling. |