8:10 AM- I was late for school. I have been going late to school for this past whole week. I haven’t been able to sleep lately. I don’t know why. Anyways, I had gotten onto my first subway. I was a on the verge of being late but I was still on time. I made it through my first subway. Next I had to transfer onto the next one. This is where things got complicated. The next train I needed to get on was leaving in one minute. It was a 2-3 minute walk to get to the platform. I was positive I was not gonna make it. Although I knew this I still continued forward. I was going as fast as my short legs would let me. When I got to where I needed the doors were already opened for the next group of people to get on. That meant me. I had actually made it. All the doors were stuffed with people. I needed to find a door that was not as filled. I had found one. I thought. A lady was walking in just as I was goin in. This meant that the people in the car had to go farther back. Here things just got really awkward. Because the car was already full and I was the last to enter I was closest to the closing door. With subway doors there is a little safety precaution. If the doors sense something or touch something as they are closing they reopen. Now remember, I was the last to get on and in a hurry.i made sure my bag was not bothering anybody behind me. Bag, check. Next was to make sure my shoes were not going to block the way. As I lowered my head to look down the doors started to close. I wish I hadn’t lowered my head. As soon as I was about to my head up the doors had already gotten to me. I ended up getting my head hit with many people watching both in the subway car and others from a far. I was so embarrassed and unsure what to do. In my midst of embarrassment I said aloud, “well, that was awkward. I just got my head hit by a subway door.” And proceeded to laugh. I honestly have no idea WHY I did that. That made things worse. Honestly, WHY did I say that???!!?!? Not only were those who saw my head get hit watching me but also people listening to me. Why am I like this? After a while I just continued to laugh. Not from embarrassment…no wait, yes from embarrassment but also because I always imagined it would be something different. I always thought it would never happen to me or if it did it would be my handbag or my skirt to get caught. It was embarrassing but I don’t care. It’s something I will look back at and laugh. Honestly that’s how I should view things always. Here it’s just, “Oh, nobody will see me ever again so it doesn’t matter.” Why can’t it be the same in America? Whenever something embarrassing happens to me in America I always wish and hoped that I could just disappear. When it comes to embarrassment I am the worst. I can’t handle it. My poor little heart is just too embarrassed and whenever people laugh around me I always assume it’s because they are thinking about the time I embarrassed myself in front of them. Yeah, I know. It’s dumb but I tend to over think things way too much. Well, anyways after this laugh I am hoping that I deal with things like this from now on. I am tired of being embarrassed and should instead just laugh things off. Well, anyways…bye bye! I will post more! I promise.
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January 2018
AuthorI am a student from the US to Japan. I enjoy writing, photographing, & travelling. |